Curious how these situations arise considering the situations. I've read on here some people continue having sex for awhile, but mine was not one of them - not even close to anything physical (hug, kiss...whatever) after BD.
To me you have to go into it honestly knowing it might not mean much and you just enjoy the physical act, which is probably easier said than done when you're the one who wants to keep the marriage/family together. If it's hurting your detachment it may not be helpful.
I look at it like this, for now, in my own situation:
*I try not to initiate and let W be the one to do that if she wants to. That might not mean a whole lot more than, in my own head, I'm not coming off as needy.
*My IC has said it's important to try to enjoy the small things that are still there, when they arise, and not harp on strategy and larger implications at that moment.
*W and I generally don't touch or make contact during the day. I doubt she'd recoil if I tried but I mostly don't feel like it. However, at the end of the night, we make some form of contact lying in bed together 99 percent of the time. Sometimes she'll scratch my back, reach over to touch my shoulder, etc. I hate to say it, but during those moments, before going to sleep, the stresses of life and the marriage melt away and everything is ok.
