1). As for the weight - my ex was a fat-Nazi who thought I was “fat” at 5’6” 118 lbs. Don’t worry, I never took that on - I knew he was ridiculous. But having had boyfriends since who thought I was fabulous even when overweight, I wouldn’t want to date someone when at my goal weight only to find out he was like my ex.
2) As for not ready to date yet - just feeling like I have too many things I still need to attend to right now. I’d like my house to be m better shape (garage too full of stuff from my kids/ CMM, needs a good clean out, and some more decluttering n the house to be houseguest- ready.)
3) As to why dating is more complicated than ten years ago: - politics - although I’ve always dated liberals anyway, dodging the people who are politically incompatible is a little trickier these days, as they’re more aggressive. - Covid - having to dodge anti-vaxxed, science deniers, and people who simply aren’t at all careful - hair color - I’ve been letting my white hair grow in, and although I get frequent compliments on it, some men will just see me as old. In the past, most of the men I ended up dating just happened to be 5-10 ten years younger, but this might be an obstacle. Once it is completely grown out though I plan to dye the tips blue or purple - may look more punk then - sexuality - compared to ten years ago, there’s less chance guys my age are sexually functional. It’s still an important part of a relationship to me. - retirement. There’s two parts to this. The first is financial - has the guy planned for his retirement, and does he live within his means? The second is timing - I’m not planning to retire for a few more years, but many guys my age have retired or will soon. I wouldn’t be a fit for someone who is retired and wants to spend a lot of time playing, since I still work. - health - I’d prefer not to go through nursing someone through a terminal illness again in the near future.
Nothing is insurmountable, it’s just that when I was in my 50’s, dating guys in their 40’s to 50’s, most of these things were not issues I had to think about. And since CMM was the first new guy I dated after Crazy Ex BF, I haven’t REALLY done OLD for ten years.
