Stuck in limbo IV

[BL42]

Doug54,

I'm going out myself to a club with a DJ along with some friends, so there's that.

Yikes separate nights out on New Years Eve. Nothing like being in a club at middle age lol but I applaud you for trying.

How'd it go at the club last night?

Christmas went well. W literally bought one gift for one of our children and I did all the rest. I'm willing to give her a partial pass since Christmas wasn't part of her upbringing and she knew I was going to handle most of the kid stuff, but dang. She's mailing it in sometimes.

It's not fair, but continue to pick up her slack when it comes to the kids - it's not their fault.

There was one day when my parents had the kids out for quite a while and W and I went for a walk like old times and had nookie twice.

If you want to shake up the status quo maybe you take cake/sex off the table?

Curious how these situations arise considering the situations. I've read on here some people continue having sex for awhile, but mine was not one of them - not even close to anything physical (hug, kiss...whatever) after BD.

To me you have to go into it honestly knowing it might not mean much and you just enjoy the physical act, which is probably easier said than done when you're the one who wants to keep the marriage/family together. If it's hurting your detachment it may not be helpful.

Sandi said it best to another poster a while back - "She wants to feel free and you are treating her like she is still your W...which she is, but she doesn't want to feel like she is your W. That is the point. She wants to be free and she doesn't want you controlling her life."

Yep - they're all striving to be "free" of their problems/unhappiness and believe it's you, when more often it's them.