Only skimmed the new posts, but I believe anger is a perfectly fine emotion as long as you channel that energy into something positive. When it becomes an issue is when you become violent. Most of my change of view stemmed from reading defoore book on the subject.

We let our house be a safe place for our kids to express the "Scary" emotions.

"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712