Hey LH. Yes, W got the breast augmentation shortly before Christmas. I'm glad for your words of wisdom about wayward wives being slow and methodical creatures. She's definitely in the replay phase of MLC - went out tonight with two divorced friends to see a band. And so it begins! I'm going out myself to a club with a DJ along with some friends, so there's that.
Christmas went well. W literally bought one gift for one of our children and I did all the rest. I'm willing to give her a partial pass since Christmas wasn't part of her upbringing and she knew I was going to handle most of the kid stuff, but dang. She's mailing it in sometimes. I say it went well because we still did our normal visits with my parents and some extended family, even though there's some friction there between W and my folks. Everyone played their part well for the kids, though, and it was a good day.
W and I have been around each other a fair amount during the holidays. Our interactions have been mostly good but my detachment has taken a step back. There was one day when my parents had the kids out for quite a while and W and I went for a walk like old times and had nookie twice. I don't really like the selfish person she's become, though. And my ego still gets in the way of having a complete attitude of "who cares what W is up to?" I still struggle internally with a mindset of "As long as you're living in the house and we're not divorced or separated, it's not ok that you're effing around, up to no good on your phone or whatever else." I don't say that but it permeates my thoughts at times. Sandi said it best to another poster a while back - "She wants to feel free and you are treating her like she is still your W...which she is, but she doesn't want to feel like she is your W. That is the point. She wants to be free and she doesn't want you controlling her life."
No idea if the above situation was a separation or still living together. LH, I try to keep in mind your line about "Do you want to be wondering one day, 'what if I'd only given W a little more time to figure things out...?'"
I forgot to mention that I did open a separate bank account for myself. We still have the joint account but I wanted to get the ball rolling with having something only I can access if needed. My paycheck isn't yet linked to this account.
What should I do if this summer comes, W gets a better job, but doesn't seem keen on moving out? We are both on the mortgage.
