I feel it coming and just don't stop the anger. I know I'm wrong, but I keep letting her work situation get to me. Something I read yesterday from either RobX or Allen? hit home. I felt/feel like such a fool that this has happened, and I don't want to feel like a fool again. Not an excuse, it just sums up how I feel. It's like I don't want them to think they are pulling the wool over my eyes again.
Rob and Allen were pretty hard line guys. Their advice was pretty good for a particular situation. I don't see you there just yet. However, I am glad that you got something from them. What I got most from them was the "mindset" of what DBing looks like, and how quickly they got to that mindset. I think the issue from them that eventually got them both banned from here was the "browbeating" other posters into their way of thinking, too quickly.
Originally Posted by MikeP
Thanks bttrfly and BL42. I think I've always known that I have anger issues, it was easier to justify being angry than to do something about it. My anger has always been an issue for W. I didn't express it towards her the way I do others, but it has still been a problem. Where I would get angry, yell, cuss, etc. at others I would keep it in and give her the silent treatment somehow thinking that was better. She is the type that thinks someone raising their voice a little indicates anger versus just being animated or excited. I have been much better since BD. I told myself then that I needed to change and have done a decent job. Far from perfect but better.
Something that I've noticed with you...
You use the word "but" quite often in your posts...
Something that was beat into my head early was the word "but". I was just as guilty of using it, and not even realizing it.
"But" allows you to be the exception to the rule. It is a built in excuse for whatever situation that you are using it in.
the true definition is
used to introduce a phrase or clause contrasting with what has already been mentioned.
Every time I see the word "but" it invalidates everything preceding it.
I know it's wrong, BUT I couldn't help myself.....
When in reality, I prolly could have helped myself, I just CHOSE to not help myself...
I highlighted one in the first quote box from you, and I could prolly find a dozen more if you want me too...
This might seem trivial ...
I just think that you are allowing too many excuses by using the word "but"...
Recognizing the pattern, will help you change the pattern....
Watch your thoughts because they become your words...
Watch your words because they become your actions...
Watch your actions because they become your behavioral patterns....
Watch your behavioral patterns because they become your character....
Go back and find the "buts" and see how you could have done better...
As Cadet will tell you, the "but" police patrolled this place pretty regularly a few years back....
