BL is asking the exact right questions FM, despite them being hard and confronting, you need to really dig deep and get some counselling to help answer them.
Your heart and mind are attached to this person because you’ve spent years imagining a life with them.
If you completely disconnect your heart strings, do you see a good partner? A good parent to kids? Someone you can trust?
Imagine your best friend was in your position. His wife has addiction issues she seems uninterested in fixing, a history of multiple affairs, gaslighting and very erratic behaviour.
What advice would you give?
Because from the cheap seats, this looks like a case of ignoring your heart and doing what your brain probably knows is best for you in the long term.
Time to get some IC, start looking at your control issues, and asking if you really should be walking away from this train wreck.
