If you were a control freak then you’re struggling because you are feeling the loss of control. Your brain doesn’t like that so it’s trying to get you to pursue your W and get her to apologize and to recommit to the marriage so you feel in control again. That’s why you are thinking up these false ultimatums. That’s what this is all about. It has nothing to do with your W. She’s just a lever to get you what you want which is to feel in control again. With time and distance you will see this clearly.
If you take the focus off your w that will give her time to think. Until you do this you will certainly continue to suffer.
