“I know that your relationship with OM is more than friends. This is disrespectful to me, the kids and yourself. For me It is unacceptable behavior that a married woman acts in these ways. I will not allow my children to be part of this situation either. I know I cannot stop or control your behaviors, nor do I want to, but This relationship is not working for me and I am moving forward without you. If you decide that you want to work on this marriage and this family you can let me know and we will see if that option is still available. I will also have zero tolerance for this guy or any guy to be in or around our marital home and to have any contact with our minor children. I pray that you find what you are looking for.” Then just walk away.
I know I can STFU and drop the rope as I move forward. I just feel like I need to let her know where she and I stand. Thoughts?
When/if you believe you need to let know, then perhaps that is a wise course. However, feeling like it, do not act upon it in this manner.
And by the way, I’m not just picking out some wording here. In my view, you deep down feel this way, not believe this way. And to be foretelling, you don’t want to believe this way either. Acceptance and forgiveness are along a different tact within the storm that engulfs you.
What you can do, and should do, is what you just did. Write it down. And then let it go.
Some folks have success with things like this actually writing upon paper, and then burning those words. Write what you’d like to say, then let it go to the flames. I believe, you’ll find your pressure to speak out is rooted in your emotions. Your beliefs in marriage and vows and behaviours are admirable and will remain; you feelings regarding letting her know will dissipate.
Besides you can do most of what you wrote without telling her first, or ever, anyhow. From a guy further down the path: You are actually just telling yourself. Her knowing that (or not) doesn’t, shouldn’t, or won’t change your path.
F, realize you do not need to take direct action against her behaviour to move forward. Being still is still moving. And it’s not really being still. (Remember, lots of the path is counterintuitive at first.)
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
