I worked today. And I really enjoyed myself. It was nice taking a break from the manager role. It was kind of busy, but good busy. I worked for the first time with this weekend case manager who worked there for a little bit but we never worked together. I heard she was kind of nervous every time she worked and was unsure of herself. I took her under my wing today and taught her everything I knew, how to make it less “scary” and encouraged her. She did really well and she felt much more comfortable after following me and me explaining and guiding her. the social workers I worked with were great fun we had enjoyed all Working together. One is kind of new, she was an intern on my unit. The other doesn’t work there that often, so I helped them out a bit and we all tackled the cases together. I had a case on my old unit, and I went up there and I got hugs all Around and like genuine excitement to see me. Like totally genuine. By the doctors as well. I really do miss working on that unit a lot .
We had kind of a problem case I had to reach out to my manager about. It’s a bigger problem because I grew up with the patients brother, so it would be a conflict of interest for me to meet with them at the bedside with such a delicate situation. Patient is his younger brother in alcoholic liver failure. They are a well to do family with lots of money. They made a stink because they want us to force patient to go to alcohol rehab, but we can’t. It got a little nutty. It’s really sad and you never know what a family is going through.
But I realize this is my “tradition”. I feel GOOD when I’m at work ( this job anyways) I didn’t think about my sitch. I genuinely enjoyed what I was doing and I enjoyed the people I was around. Some people say volunteer on the holidays you are alone as a tradition. Well, I get paid, but I do volunteer to work and allow those who have family or a special someone to spend their holiday with be able to do so. So it’s a good and selfish deed at the same time, but it is what makes me feel good. I could have been home all day feeling sorry for myself.
I came home, put Christmas music on, started aggressively cleaning, poured some wine and I don’t feel like crying. I’m going to put my favorite Christmas movie on soon and start wrapping presents.
And getting up in the morning and getting ready and going to work is what makes me feel good when I have to wake up alone. I don’t want to have to wait around for her to get home. I’ll go work with some really cool people again, the day will go fast, I get 2 free meals at work, and then I come home to my girl.
I can get through this. Sure, I’ve got this little void in my heart and soul. I almost made some unhealthy decisions but I didn’t. I’m going to be okay.
I’m going to put my favorite Christmas movie on soon
Die Hard?
Merry Christmas
Surely it’s Love Actually
OB you mean the movie where everyone thinks it's cute a guy uses an intricately planned profession of love to his best friends wife outside on their doorstep while his buddy is in the house? Pass!
Originally Posted by Ginger1
A Christmas carol and a Christmas story. Those are my classics!
Don't shoot your eye out, Ginger1!
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
I basically went to bed at 10pm last night . D woke me up and FaceTimed me for the new year. I am working today. Last night was a little rough , I was a little lonely, but I got through it. During the day I went to the gym , went out for lunch D and aggressively cleaned my bedroom. I’m a party animal, I know. Next Saturday my friend and I are going out for a doctor friends birthday. He insists on paying, even for his own birthday. And is getting us ( my friend and I ) a hotel room so we don’t have to drive. That will be my big night out .
I had my first first date since august last Thursday. I have been off all the apps ever since. The only one I never deleted was facebook dating ( don’t even know how to delete it) but I never used it because of wacky far away matches. I opened it up out of boredom . There was this guy with such a great and normal profile. Good looking guy. I was shocked at his age, he’s 55, but looks early 40’s. We connected and made a date. He has custody of his 14 and 15 year old sons. His ex wife over back to FL a few years ago. They have been divorced 6 years. His kids visit mom for holidays and breaks and the such. Through conversation, he never once had to say “my kids are my priority” he just has to speak about them and he is a normal every day parent who loves his kids and is doing a great job raising them. He said women in his age range usually run when he says his kids ages . He says “my kids are teens, they can stay home alone even overnight” he does make time to date. We do want the same things relationship wise. We had a nice talk about it. We are in very similar places in our lives.
There were no “sparks” but definitely a level of attraction for me. He did tell me I am even more gorgeous in person and he asked for a second date on the first date. He asked in the parking lot if he could hug me and I said yes. I think he was testing the waters and was being respectful and said “ I would ask for a kiss, but I don’t want to make it awkward” we didn’t kiss, but I hope if the second date goes well, he goes for it.
If anything, this date lessened my fear of dating. I actually got scared. Scared of the nutso people. It was nice to know even if this doesn’t get past date 2, there are men left who aren’t pervs, aren’t looking to get right into my bed, and aren’t in the im FREEEEEEEEE!!!!!! Mentality.
