NC went well today for me. I have resisted the urge all day to reach out. She has not reached out much either. It seems that it doesn’t bother her to be away. I’m positive she has ramped up communication with OM. Yesterday before I left with the kids she told me she loved me. First time that’s been said in weeks. I’ll keep holding the line on the NC and try to enjoy the time with my family. Other than that not much happened today. Tomorrow should not be as hard since my sister and kids will be here all day. So will have some company and conversation. I did finish 3 exercises today in my Integrated man program and reached out to program support when struggling to give the feelings away.
Yesterday before I left with the kids she told me she loved me.
They all slip to old habits sometimes.
No false despair. No false hope.
Keep focused on you and your personal growth. Learn the best way to respond to this.
I like how LH19 suggests this type of response "How about you show me how much you love me" with humor and sexual overtones. Not that I am suggesting you do this, but you really need to know when and how to do this. Really hard when you are pinning for one woman.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Last night was a bit harder for me than I thought it would be. She did not reach out to me at all, except to talk to S6, which I need to remove all expectations. In a moment of weakness pulled up her text records on phone bill. Sure enough she has been texting back and forth with the OM. I am determined to not do this or check on her in anyway going forward. It messes with my serenity and does nothing for my situation. I will be working on integrated man exercises, Al Anon 8th step and work today for my GAL. I also found out that her OM is a recovering H addict with only 9 months of sobriety. I am tired and hurt but will keep on working on me. I have been thankful for the experience so far, even with the pain that comes, I have been able to grow spiritually, mentally and physically through this. Hope everyone has a great day!
Text thread form today. I have not reached out at all last 2 days. Not sure I handles this right, but need help with response to last one…
W - If for some reason y’all decide you want to come here can you please let me know? I’m about to start wrapping
H - Will probably not until tomorrow. I’m going to take the kids to Christmas Eve mass at 3 and then bring them to your moms. You have an open invite to dinner and church if you would like to do either or both. Hope you have a great day.
W - I would love to go to Christmas Eve mass but I doubt I’ll be able to bc of helping here
H - No worries, up to you. Dinner tonight 6:30 Church tomorrow 3:00
Ttyl
W - I already told you I wasn’t coming to dinner, but I appreciate the invite.
H - Last you said was you were going to pray on it. If you did I missed it. No worries.
W - I did say that. You are right. I just don’t feel it would be a good thing for me emotionally or for my sobriety. Didn’t get a meeting yesterday, prob won’t get one today or tomorrow.
W - Also, party is on for tomorrow like usual. 630. You are welcome to come.
W - Dad just said he would be disappointed if you didn’t come 😔
I love my In Laws, but do not plan on going. “I was just going to reply I don’t plan on being there”
Text thread form today. I have not reached out at all last 2 days. Not sure I handles this right, but need help with response to last one…
W - If for some reason y’all decide you want to come here can you please let me know? I’m about to start wrapping
H - Will probably not until tomorrow. I’m going to take the kids to Christmas Eve mass at 3 and then bring them to your moms. You have an open invite to dinner and church if you would like to do either or both. Hope you have a great day.
W - I would love to go to Christmas Eve mass but I doubt I’ll be able to bc of helping here
H - "OK"...or no response.No worries, up to you. Dinner tonight 6:30 Church tomorrow 3:00
Ttyl
W - I already told you I wasn’t coming to dinner, but I appreciate the invite.
H - Last you said was you were going to pray on it. If you did I missed it. "No worries." ...or no response
W - I did say that. You are right. I just don’t feel it would be a good thing for me emotionally or for my sobriety. Didn’t get a meeting yesterday, prob won’t get one today or tomorrow.
W - Also, party is on for tomorrow like usual. 630. You are welcome to come.
W - Dad just said he would be disappointed if you didn’t come 😔
I love my In Laws, but do not plan on going. “I was just going to reply I don’t plan on being there”
Thanks all!
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
