Marching in limbo with MLC H

[BL42]

marching,

I'm not sure what you mean about friend-zoned? Could you say a bit more about that?

Friend Zone: a situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unreciprocated romantic or sexual interest in the other.

Don't be the person who is always available to another person who doesn't show you the same level of interest you'd like them to. Being there as a shoulder to cry on, or to help them with a move, or to go to the movies as someone they don't see as more than a friend when you want a romantic relationship with.

My DB coach essentially said that for my sitch, where this is so little contact, I actually need to build up a friendship again.

I'm not a professional coach, so take this for what it is, but personally I think it's unlikely you building up a rapport with H will matter if he's in an active affair. Which, not sure if you've 100% verified, but seems incredibly likely based on what you've shared.

Frankly, I'm not really considering reconciliation. I don't dare to hope for it because the chances are so slim. So many stars need to align for an R to work out, and very few of them are within my control.

I think you should work towards acceptance and peace that you'll likely get divorced. H has already asked you not to visit his home and said he wants D. He's likely in an affair. I know it's difficult, but the sooner you accept this as the likely result the better, as it will stop having power over you. The more you try to hold on to something you can't control the longer it'll control you.

My IC told me today that I shouldn't be afraid of H's reactions. If H throws a tantrum when I stand up for myself, this would not be surprising because this whole thing is childish.

Your IC is right. What do you have to be afraid of? The worst case has already happened. He can't do anything more to you than he already has. So don't be afraid; embrace it.

marching - You're young with no kids and have lived apart from H for several years npo. Serious question...why is it that you don't want a divorce? Reflect on that. Be honest with yourself.