I consulted with a DB coach today and it was super helpful. She echoed words shared here about how dragging things out can push the MLC spouse in the other direction.
We talked about how I can be cooperative without being a doormat. She also said that it in my case, it wouldn't hurt to start some light chit chat. So, I sent the pictures of the MC (cooperation). I also told H that I am talking to lawyers in Big City, deliberately using the word "divorce," which he tends to avoid, to show that it doesn't scare me (not being a doormat).
H said, "That's great, thank you." He's going to talk to a lawyer next week to figure "it" out for Country B and "then we can see what's more practical."
I went out on a limb and responded with a gif about lawyers that referenced one of our inside jokes and said "ok" (attempt at chit chat).
He responded to the gif with a laughing emoji.
I was surprised that H sounded appreciative of me talking to lawyers. I didn't mention that I also already consulted a lawyer in Country B. I worried he might feel threatened. To the contrary, it's like he thinks figuring out the legal stuff is now a team effort and I've taken up half of the work (am I mind-reading too much?).
This all feels very weird because we've hardly had any contact since BD. But sure, we'll just chummily proceed with a life-changing legal process without having had any serious discussion about our M or attempts to improve it beforehand.
Well, it's definitely preferable to the ugly, acrimonious messes that some folks unfortunately have suffered.
I should note that H still doesn't know where I am living right now. I haven't told him about my moving plans, either, and he hasn't asked.
