Marching in limbo with MLC H

[DnJ]

Good Morning m

Good on you utilizing the 48 hour rule.

I agree, I’d simply send H a copy of the marriage certificate.


This is an opportunity to not place boulders upon the path. This is not heavy lifting, nor will it significantly speed anything up.

My goal is to be assertive but not alienating. To stand up for myself while keeping the door cracked open.

Excellent goals.

Telling H to get his own copy would be working counter to your goals. That would fan his flames and propel him, adding fuel to his angry/depression ladened mixture. Remember, you want at some point, H to awaken to: “Hey, marching hasn’t been bugging me, or talking to me, or otherwise, and I am still unhappy. Hmmm, maybe it wasn’t her after all.” And then, with some good fortune, H will look inward.

Nothing you do, and everything you do, matters.

It matters for you! Everything, all suggestions, are for you. Be better, not bitter.

And the added benefit is it gives you the best chance at reconciliation.

Frankly, I don't understand why he would need them for "looking into things."

Don’t borrow trouble. Do not get ahead of yourself. Just deal with this request is all.

My W was a jet fuelled dragster and rocketed her way to a divorce in 60 days. Nothing I did mattered. And everything I did mattered. There is a new life beyond the wreckage, after the flames die down, and after the dust settles - a really good life. Seriously! And you are laying the foundation of that life right now. Everything matters for you. (((Hugs)))

If H can find his way. If he can find his senses. He will turn back towards you. Be a gal only a fool would leave. It’s then up to H, if he be a fool or not.

There are positives in this request as well. H is talking to you. Speaking civilly. H also knows you, and knows you are organized. He asked for a copy and pretty much knows you will be able to find the certificate no problem.

Unlike my W, your H is wallowing and slowly moving along. “Looking into things”, will have meaning for him too. He is not rocketing along mowing anything and everyone who stands in his way. I suspect H will stare at that certificate for many hours. Languishing in guilty torment and happy memories. A step towards awakening to what he is doing and considering.

It may not dissuade him from his ill-conceived and driven path of finding his happiness. Although, I would wager seeing his and your names on a certificate of marriage will give him pause.

The future is unwritten. Let it unfold. And do not write it off. Hope lives in the possibilities.

Strengthen your foundation. Build well.

D