I read your thread as a lurker, and I was so appalled by your stbx's manchild behavior. Ditching his family, taking up yoga and astrology, wearing a man bun, going to concerts with his young friends instead of taking care of his baby. On his high horse talking about some mystical bullshit while you are literally saving lives. So cruel, and honestly so embarrassing for him. I'm sorry you had to deal with such a mess. It sounds like you are doing well now though—it's really heartening to see how people come out stronger on the other side. Thanks so much for the support.
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He even speaks highly of me to his friends and family still - I thought I was maybe in denial about how the marriage and my perception was.
The mixed signals are so crazy-making! Speaking well of you but treating you so poorly. Believe nothing of what they say and only 50% of what they do, indeed.
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but of course it was not on purpose, it was because he was trying to protect his emotions and was just reflecting his people-pleasing nature in response to childhood trauma, and the cheating/divorce/lying was because he needed to be true to himself. Ok, buddy.
Yes, I hear you, and this describes my situation exactly! I could not believe my ears when H said he has to do this to grow as a person, that he's already matured so much (this after just a month of separation).
As for the phrase "politely icing me out," the credit must go to Rockon
Hi Marching! You are so kind to ask. Little guy is doing amazing Sweet as can be and silly. He's already trying to read books and yelling at the parts that the main character is yelling. I'm super lucky to be his mom.
Thanks for reading my thread and validating me. Heard echoes of my past in yours when I went through bomb drop #1. You're way ahead than I was at first bomb drop.
Watching you interact with others and your thoughtful kind responses are a testament to your character. You're an amazing person and I hope you don't lose that in all of this. It's easy to do, when you feel fractured with the guilt and the trashed self esteem and the being treated like a question mark. I know how you feel when initially you look for success stories alone, and then far later when you finally feel whole again you're just like "how does anyone even take these people back?"
I've heard, repeatedly, that the best way to get the interest of someone back is by completely moving on. It seems like many of the LBS achieved that after realizing they didn't care if their WAS came back.
If that happens with you, please make sure he shows total remorse and truly apologizes. You deserve so much more than being treated like how you are.
