Ok, first, I’m sorry you are down and depressed. Unfortunately k am right there with ya. The holiday cheer isn’t for everyone . I get it.

Secondly, ex FIL. I imagine he is struggling with this as well . I’m sure it is especially hard when the in laws are very close and it’s difficult to navigate for them as well. I was at the gym this morning and my trainer was telling me he does 4 chiststmases. His parents are divorced and his grandparents are divorced. He said he always enjoyed the presents, but it’s a lot in one day.

Which brings me to the kids. I know I had a expressed to you in the past revisiting your parenting plan. Needs change with different ages. I don’t think D4 per say needs therapy yet, but maybe some guidance from a professional in this area on how best to arrange your custody time for less stress.

Having to do Halloween on different costumes is stressful! I would urge you guys to get a little more on the same page with that. One costume for the kids. Why do they have to have 2? My ex and asked our kid what she wanted to be and we sit the cost of the costume. And when she was young we both took her trick or treating. As it became more about her friends. I would take her with her friends and before hand she would do with ex and her cousins for a little bit. Now neither of us are present, lol. Maybe consider asking the kids what they prefer on the holiday, rather than what you guys prefer. Son wanted to be with friends. He’s getting to that age now. We are just there to make sure they are safe.

D4 and meltdowns. Some on the words might remember in my previous screen and that my daughter was hell on wheels. Meltdowns, stubbornnes, everything, not listening. I was so stressed. It was awful. Parts of it is normal stuff. Girls are different creatures than girls. She was also bored in preschool and thankfully she went to kindergarten sooner than most. She would cause destruction. Part of it was transitions. The good news is my kid is a well-adjusted 15 year old now.

I absolutely think sitting down with a therapist to figure out what would make things easier on her is a great idea. I also remember when my daughter was 5 and she was acting like a crazy woman, I just sat her down and I asked her what was really bothering her. She broke down and told me that she is sad she doesn’t see her father too much. She just needed to vent to me. And she was a lot better after that. I actually got my ex to take an extra night after that convo ( he was returning her at 6pm on sundays his weekend, and he agreed to keep her on those Sunday’s)

Also, maybe communicating about kids stuff a little better would be good. Mom should know if dad is volunteering at the their sons class party. My ex wasn’t involved in much that way, but I never left him out of the loop. ( although I regret that time I told him I was going to be her class mystery reader and he slipped and said something to her)

You are doing a great job navigating this really tough emotional and logistical situation. I know the holidays seem to amplify it. Make sure you take some time for yourself and do a little self care