WAW w/Exit Affair or WW? - 1.5 Year Divorced (8)

[OnlyBent]

Thanks. I've been trying to pay it forward and help others, especially the Newbies, because I know how awful and difficult a period that was for me and others. Hopefully I'm giving good and advice and if nothing else just getting responses I think makes folks who are spinning feel better.

Hats off to you BL, you're definitely kicking goals with this. Highly commendable how much effort you are putting in.

Non-existent. I deleted OLD profiles months ago and the setups friends have alluded to haven't come to fruition.

I sometimes had found the same thing when friends mentioned a setup. The way I look at it is like job interviews, if they're interested, they'll contact you. Maybe, the friend did mention and the setup wasn't interested, maybe they forgot, maybe they're a bit of all talk and the other person wasn't as great or available as they made out. I've had offers here and there with varying degrees of success. What I found is, that if you have the abundance mentality or even just an abundance (from all sources of dating as LH would say), then you won't care if it does or doesn't come through, and strangely that's when these sort of things to do tend to come through. Does that make sense?

Re the interactions with the FIL, as everyone has always said on here, blood will always be thicker. I was very close with my brother in law and he always told me how little he thought of my XW, but guess what....we don't talk anymore and he and his sister still do.

The second point is that once you stop giving a fuch about letting anyone else's mood affect you, the better your life will become. The FIL doesn't like you, zero fuchs given, that's your greatest power. I'm not saying be a dik, but just not letting what others think get to you. I'm there now with XW after being scared of her moods and what she thought for 10+ years and its very liberating. and she can't stand it!

BL, you're doing great, and its totally common after putting in 2 years of hard yakka on yourself, kids, gym, work, etc to regress a bit in the effort that you can make. Give yourself a break, recharge and get back to a good balance of work and play.