My wife says she is done

[Dats000]

It’s been a while since I posted but nothing significant has occurred. As a reminder shortly before Thanksgiving this year my wife said she was done. Since then she sleeps in the guest bedroom in the basement. We do eat supper together with the kids. We have it worked out whoever cooks the other one cleans. Kids don’t know yet. I am being patient with the theory that it will take a month for the 10 years my wife was building up all her unhappiness inside her. I’m still seeing an IC weekly.

I’m still staying busy, detaching and GAL. I’m trying my best keep validating what my wife says. I started going to local high school sporting events and asking S12 and D10 want to go. I’m getting back into photography by taking pictures at my kids sports activities. I share pictures of other kids with their parents which makes them happy too. I go to the library and read my self help books.

Basically all arguments have stopped. W told me this thanksgivings was the best she had (stress free). It was s12, d10, in-laws, W and me. In-laws know. A few weeks back I was cleaning the garage and she came out and asked me if I wanted more coffee and I said sure. A few moments later she brought out a thermos of coffee for me. I was away for a three day weekend with d10 and when we came home she had made us a healthy supper. She said that she did this because she knew it’s what I would have wanted. I know Michelle says in Divorce Remedy that every little step is a big deal and I should look at them as a big deal.

At the same time she has asked me for my attorneys name and then more recently has asked me when we wanna tell the kids. I told her that I wanna wait until Christmas. I just wanna enjoy Christmas with my kids right now and not think about this. Some days you can tell that she’s so checked out and done with this. These are the days where i’ve just started to feel like how nice it would be to not have a person like this around me any longer. it’s a selfish thought, not thinking about the kids but there are days now that I do feel this way - not having to deal with a person who just does not wanna be around you.

Mother in law called to talk about something else with me but then broke down and cried and told me how hurt she is and that she cries every night. I was working and I had a meeting in a few minutes so as I started to cry too I told her that I loved her and had to get back to work. It’s the first time we’ve talked about D.