I just caught up with a friend I haven't talked to a while. I learned that she's also going through a divorce and has been separated from her H for almost half a year! In fact, she and her H decided to end things just a few days before I hung out with them in the summer. At the time, they weren't ready to tell people yet, so they were still socializing as a couple. I couldn't tell that they were having problems at all.
Sounds like their split, while very painful, was handled with maturity. It took some time for my friend's H, who initiated it, to open up about his feelings, but the couple was able to have a series of conversations about it, and the decision became mutual. They parted amicably. The first few months of the separation were horrible for my friend, but she loves her life now. And they are friends.
I'm comparing that with how H has gone about this and more scales are falling out of my eyes. Just a few days ago I was crying and missing H a lot. But today, those loving feeling are very faint, because I am so disgusted by H. I really question whether I would want H back if he ever comes around. He's got a LOT of work to do and I wonder if he is strong enough for it. Even immediately after BD, I knew intellectually that I wouldn't want him in his alien state. But I still wanted him back ASAP. Now, I think my heart is catching up with my head.
Lol let's see if my attitude changes again in a week. Gonna give things more time.
