I want to preface my reply, Mach, by saying I'm not as familiar with your story as I am with some others so forgive me if I say something that seems somewhat out of touch. What I do know of your story is something that you and I share. My XH had daughters when he and I married. We never had children of our own. So, my daughters (or kids) as I refer to them are not my actual birth children, but my step kids. So, from that standpoint, I can understand the dynamic you have going on with your kids. Having said that, I agree with most of what everyone before me has said. At some point, you will have to deal with the inevitable of your xw dating and it is painful, but it is also a fact of life. Kids have to come first or at some point, they are going to feel like they are being forced to choose whether they actually are or not.
It's a really tough place to be and I feel for you, for sure. I have traveled the road you are traveling and it does not get easier. It is so difficult to be the step-parent and try to navigate that dynamic and all the sh!t that gets thrown at you for that alone and then have to deal with seeing your xw with others on top of that. I wish I had some really cool advice to offer you, but I don't. All I can say is hang in there. Clearly you have done right be the kids in this situation and that is something to be proud of and hold on to.
Thanx for that. It makes a perfect connection. My step daughters/daughters are 22/32 years old. Youngest is a beast, hard working, doesnt give a rats butt about issues like this. She just wants to spend time with me when she can. She is actually moving back in with me at the end of the month. The oldest is really getting close and is really appreciative of the relationship we have, after so many years of angst.. Now with her baby, she is embracing it. She knows its important to her daughter to have a relationship with me, due to her sitch with baby daddy. And, its important for her to have a place for her and her daughter besides her Moms to call home, if ever needed. When the time comes I have to face ex with someone else, well, I will know when I am ready..
