Wolfman Moving Forward 5

[BL42]

Wolfman,

He explained to me just going to mys12 basketball games and leaving is not quality time with my son. That maybe miss on a rare occasion if there is something that needs to be done for the baby. Tell my s12 that instead of going to the game, doing something together one on one. Make that quality time.

It means a good deal to kids to show up at their events. It's my 3rd year of coaching S7's sports teams and he loves and takes pride in that. Even just going to a game means a great deal. He wants my parents to come see him, and even D4 asked my mom if she would come to her Christmas concert.

I'm totally with your friend about doing other one-on-one activities for quality time, but it's not necessarily an either or thing. My take is your kid with GF is a baby...might as well take the baby to the game and watch together. That way you see your son's games AND spend time with baby (and GF should she choose). My D4 goes to S7's events, even though they're not hers - actually wants to and asks for it.

Just my $0.02.

How he believes there has to be times that I pick the baby over my s12.

Don't you have 50/50 custody of your son? That means 50% of the time you can make W and baby number 1.

And I totally agree with LH's point here that your baby and GF already have 50% of the time where they can be your main priority and don't even need to "compete" with your son.

Therefore it's fair to make son a focus when you do have the opportunity - doesn't mean baby (and GF if she chooses) can't be a part of that (e.g., all going to the game together).