You have to deal with the person your spouse is today, not the person you knew.
Agree. Most people arrive here with rose colored glasses. Other are even dealing with gaslighting.
One of my kids said "My mom doesn't know me at all." Pretty much saying he is more open and honest with me. Even with that, I don't think I know him at all either. I have an image in my mind that I created that represents him to me. I believe DON MIGUEL RUIZ was one of the first authors helping me wrap my head around this. It has been awhile since I have read the four agreements, so I guess it is time to read it again. Every time I read it, I get something new. Each time, I am at a different point in my life. I believe posters should read it right after Divorce Remedy.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712