Wayward Wife help (2)

[Ready2Change]

...You know what got her wanting me back and countless others. Not giving a rip what she wanted, said, or did. ...she didn’t understand why I was doing better without her....You want a chance of getting her back? Than make her stop and wonder where you are. What are you doing. She wants you to be single, so be single. I’m not saying date or have one night stands, but go do what you want without a care in the world how it affects her.

Wise words. I have seen others post the same thing.

[FwdMvmnt]

Thank you S,R, B and J!
Love the last statement J!

She is going around the house asking what’s hers tonight. I would have left but was cooking dinner. She is wanting to sell things to make money for herself. I told her that anything that is ours or are assets that those need to be used for the family. She said my clothes and the kids clothes that my mom bought are mine. She’s going to sell things on eBay and have a garage sale I guess to use toward her own place. Interesting times.

[BL42]

FwdMvmnt,

She is going around the house asking what’s hers tonight...She is wanting to sell things to make money for herself. I told her that anything that is ours or are assets that those need to be used for the family. She said my clothes and the kids clothes that my mom bought are mine. She’s going to sell things on eBay and have a garage sale I guess to use toward her own place. Interesting times.

Document those assets! Seriously. Video, pictures, spreadsheet. Protect yourself financially.

One of the hardest things for us to wrap our heads around, esp in long term marriages like yours, is the fact that your w is absolutely not on your team...Third, she is an opposing team, period. She will think of herself, her wants and needs and literally burn it down when she doesn't get what she wants.

Team W is currently the opposition. That doesn’t mean that it will always be that way. It also doesn’t mean you have to oppose her or fight her. Realize, you do not have to show up to every battle you are invited to.

^Wise words. Listen to them.

She did say that all this would be much easier if we could all act as adults and just get along.

It'd be much easier for her if you bowed to her every whim.

This isn’t first time she’s said this, I’ve been silent when she does, but curious as to best answer here.

Nothing wrong with a bit of silence sometimes. Also "I'm not interested in being friends"

I want to just tell her, look at yourself and what you are doing to this family and tell her to be the [censored] adult, but I know not to do that smile she claims the S/D will be l better for everyone and allow her to be a better mother.

So many say "it's best for the kids" and "it'll allow them to be a better parent". Utter BS to justify their actions. Don't by into it.

...You know what got her wanting me back and countless others. Not giving a rip what she wanted, said, or did. ...she didn’t understand why I was doing better without her....You want a chance of getting her back? Than make her stop and wonder where you are. What are you doing. She wants you to be single, so be single. I’m not saying date or have one night stands, but go do what you want without a care in the world how it affects her.

Wise words. I have seen others post the same thing.

Again, wise words. Listen to them.

[DnJ]

Hello FM

She said my clothes and the kids clothes that my mom bought are mine. She’s going to sell things on eBay and have a garage sale I guess to use toward her own place. Interesting times.

Oh my.

My W did plenty of “interesting” things too as she unravelled. As suggest by BL, document what she takes, sells, or burns.

Don’t be afraid to tell her no when she oversteps. She can sell every scrap of her clothing she has if she wants too. However, the kids need clothes. And just because her Mom bought it is no excuse to toss it in the garage sale.

Of course, you could buy those clothes for the 10 cents on the dollar of a typical garage sale and they’d then be your’s. That would work especially well on eBay. Just imagine her surprise when she fills out the shipping address. lol.

I mean why not. You’d have to replace the clothes, so get them on sale. And the right size and everything.

Perhaps she’ll change her mind. She certainly is ping ponging about.

Hang in there man.

D

[SteveLW]

I'd get that consult with an attorney, STAT!

[bttrfly]

As others have said, document everything with photos that are date stamped and catalog in a spreadsheet.

interview lawyers yesterday. you cannot afford to wait.

ask the lawyer if you can take half the $$ out of joint bank accounts now, and tell her that the remaining is hers to do with as she wishes. She wants to leave, let her. Do not move out of the house. Make her leave. This is her divorce. She needs to take ownership and action around this divorce that she wants. You need to protect assets, children and yourself.

It may be wise to propose mediation to your wife directly after speaking to a lawyer to find out your rights. A mediator is a neutral party who can help you hammer out a divorce agreement, but cannot advise either of you - that's where the lawyer comes in. A mediator can however save you significant $$$. There are too many divorce attorneys who make their $$ by jacking up their clients' emotions and dragging stuff out. While I would have given anything for my family to remain intact, I do believe the best thing we did was hire a mediator who was skilled as a marital mediator as well. He was awesome. My exh's lawyer bilked him of thousands and caused us to fight about things we'd never fought about before. Exh realized it six months in and fired her, but he'd already lost almost 5 figures on a non-contested divorce by the time he wised up.

FM, I'm sorry. This marriage is dead and gone. Flat lined. Doesn't mean you can't have a better and new marriage with your wife down the road. It does mean you need to start protecting yourself, your $$ and most especially the kids ASAP.

[Ready2Change]

My X was cashing out retirement funds without my knowledge before D paperwork was filed. As someone said they are currently not on your team. Use the legal system to protect your assets and your relationship with your children.

Do not wait on legal.

[bttrfly]

My X was cashing out retirement funds without my knowledge before D paperwork was filed. As someone said they are currently not on your team. Use the legal system to protect your assets and your relationship with your children.

Do not wait on legal.

same here. and mine got a secret credit card and expected me to pay half of everything, including a trip to Hawaii with his AP, taken on our 21st wedding anniversary.

To say that was completely out of character for the person I married would be the understatement of the century, but people change. boy, do they change! protect your kids and your assets.

[Ready2Change]

To say that was completely out of character for the person I married would be the understatement of the century, but people change. boy, do they change!

The person you have created in your mind is not the person they really are. That is one thing to understand asap.

[bttrfly]

To say that was completely out of character for the person I married would be the understatement of the century, but people change. boy, do they change!

The person you have created in your mind is not the person they really are. That is one thing to understand asap.

i'm not sure I agree with you R2C, but whether I do or don't agree doesn't matter. What does matter is that when things get to this place in a marriage, you have to deal with the person your spouse is today, not the person you knew.

active addiction adds a complicated layer.