Thank you all. Real quick before I go to bed. Gf just said to me, That she wants to feel like number 1. And that she should not be competing with a 12 year old to be number 1. I am her woman and I should make her feel that way. She said instead and your son is, then drew on a piece of paper “#1”. I said I am sorry I made you feel that way, but everyone is number 1. The other thing she said earlier on. That she thinks she might need some time away, and that she would take the baby with her away for a month. With this conversation, I will be reaching out to a lawyer tomorrow. I did not want to argue with her. It only would have escalated and got bad.
M:42 XW:41 T:19 M: 15 D:13 S:10 BD: 8/10/18 Moved out: 8/18 Moved in: 9/18/18 Moved out: 4/22/19 D papers signed 11/4/19 D final 3/18/20
Gf just said to me, That she wants to feel like number 1. And that she should not be competing with a 12 year old to be number 1.
He is your son, not a female best friend - your GF should not be in competition with your child.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
she thinks she might need some time away, and that she would take the baby with her away for a month.
Um...no. A month is a really long time. Maybe if things were wonderful and you had no worries, but with her behavior that'd be a real concern. Don't let her take your kid away for a month, have that turn into 2 or 6 months, and then let that be the "norm" for the family court judge to consider making her the primary custodian.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
With this conversation, I will be reaching out to a lawyer tomorrow. Good! It's overdue imo.
[quote=Wolfman]I did not want to argue with her. It only would have escalated and got bad.
Good. Way to not argue/debate/escalate.
Wolfman - Just make sure to protect yourself and your R with your children. That should really be your only goal at the moment.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
I’m wondering, where is she planning on going for a month? And with what money?
As for the ridiculous immaturity of her competing with your children, I can’t even. Let that be a cautionary tale for the other guys here about dating young women.
I would let her go wherever she wants for however long she wants but make it clear you will be having the baby with you 50% or whatever schedule works for you. Also make it clear you will not be funding this break. Call your lawyer today.
Gf just said to me, That she wants to feel like number 1. And that she should not be competing with a 12 year old to be number 1.
He is your son, not a female best friend - your GF should not be in competition with your child.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
she thinks she might need some time away, and that she would take the baby with her away for a month.
Um...no. A month is a really long time. Maybe if things were wonderful and you had no worries, but with her behavior that'd be a real concern. Don't let her take your kid away for a month, have that turn into 2 or 6 months, and then let that be the "norm" for the family court judge to consider making her the primary custodian.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
With this conversation, I will be reaching out to a lawyer tomorrow. Good! It's overdue imo.
[quote=Wolfman]I did not want to argue with her. It only would have escalated and got bad.
Good. Way to not argue/debate/escalate.
Wolfman - Just make sure to protect yourself and your R with your children. That should really be your only goal at the moment.
The month thing, she is out of her mind. That is why I am reaching out to a lawyer today about my rights. Its sad it got to this. Lets this be a reminder to the newbies here. Share my story, please i don't want anyone else to go through this.
Originally Posted by kml
I’m wondering, where is she planning on going for a month? And with what money?
As for the ridiculous immaturity of her competing with your children, I can’t even. Let that be a cautionary tale for the other guys here about dating young women.
She has family in another country and she plans on going there. So housing and food will not be a problem for her. She does have some money saved from her previous job. Remember I have been paying for everything. She can afford the plane ticket.
I asked her this question yesterday in that conversation. If we broke up, and you were dating someone else, who would be "#1" in your life? The new man or the baby? She replied that is different. I said how? She refused to answer then went back to how she should be #1 in my life. And if she found another man how he would make her and the baby #1. Ugh she is living in a fantasy world.
M:42 XW:41 T:19 M: 15 D:13 S:10 BD: 8/10/18 Moved out: 8/18 Moved in: 9/18/18 Moved out: 4/22/19 D papers signed 11/4/19 D final 3/18/20
I asked her this question yesterday in that conversation. If we broke up, and you were dating someone else, who would be "#1" in your life? The new man or the baby? She replied that is different. I said how? She refused to answer then went back to how she should be #1 in my life. And if she found another man how he would make her and the baby #1. Ugh she is living in a fantasy world.
I’m glad you asked that. Pointing it out to her. Good for you.
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
