I've been struggling since having the divorce ball thrown in my court and making my move more concrete. I guess it's a necessary, painful step in dropping the rope. It's a very real step towards living life without H.
I have been missing him a lot lately. For the first several months, I was just dealing with shock. Now, so many things remind me of H. There were even so many good times from right before BD. Laughter and passion.
It's hard coming across songs, articles, and videos that I'd normally share and discuss with him, too. It's really hard not having my best friend in my life.
Clearly I am not detached.
I've been figuring out where I'm going to stay while I look for an apartment in the Big City. Having to keep living out of a suitcase is very frustrating. But my friends and family have offered a lot of support, and I'm so grateful for them. Trying to focus the positives in my sitch—like having wonderful people in my life. Including even people at work, who have been very understanding. I'm improving in my running, too.
