I guess at this point I'm not committed to that so I am being wishy washy. I hate to think about it because in the end I do want it to work. It seems like if an entire year passes and she isn't ready to commit, she never will be. I know 1 year is just an arbitrary length of time, but if a year isn't enough time what is? Maybe at that point me wanting out will be what lights a fire under her azz.
You are not committed to that end, so do not go down that road.
Yes, things feel bleak. An entire year of no movement means what? Or how much more time would be needed? Maybe I’ll just light a fire under her a bit and she’ll wake up. You are talking to your ever-listening mind, and it is crafting your reality.
Mike, stand for you. Live for your values and convictions.
Limbo can be a horrible torment. A purgatory like state. However, when one chooses limbo. Ah, things change.
A choice, a commitment, to that path turns it from a tormenting intolerable limbo into much better. Choice relieves the intolerable-ness. After all, one chose it.
The limbo-ness also disappears. One lives their life and values. Realize your entire life is not on hold, not in a state of limbo. Perhaps one part is less, or far less, than you’d like. That does not paint your entire existence.
Ending this with an arbitrary date will not change much. Limbo, like lonely, follows a person. One can live alone and not be lonely. And, one can be in a group setting and be utterly lonely. Limbo is a state of mind, more than a circumstance once you embrace your ability to choose and/or realize the choice you’ve made.
I get how it feels wishy washy. Realize doing nothing is doing something. Taking action will certainly feel powerful. Yet, standing strong, being a stanchion, that lighthouse, does show fortitude, strength, and commitment.
I absolutely agree with the others that limbo is a terrible place. And yes, a drop dead date, a date to end limbo, would be for you and not shared with W. Thing is, in my opinion, that date is today, and the mechanism for ending limbo is different.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
