One of the hardest things for us to wrap our heads around, esp in long term marriages like yours, is the fact that your w is absolutely not on your team.

let's be clear, there's team FM, team WAW, and team kids. I put them on a separate team for a reason, FM. You need to think of yourself first because you can't be there for anyone else, especially your kids, if you don't put the oxygen mask on yourself first. Second, you need to start thinking of yourself as the coach and manager of Team Kids cuz dollars to donuts your W isn't thinking beyond Team WAW. Third, she is an opposing team, period. She will think of herself, her wants and needs and literally burn it down when she doesn't get what she wants.

Be prepared for whiplash, meaning one day she's insulting you to your children, then next buying you keto bars and asking for a hug. Imagine how scrambled the inside of her brain is, because this is a mere glimpse into what's going on in there. You can - and should - feel compassion for her in her current state, but you must never forget she is not on your team. Fierce compassion means not putting up with any crap while at the same time understanding that she's a very sick person right now.

She's clearly setting you up. While it may feel disloyal to seek legal counsel to know your rights, what you are actually doing is taking care of yourself and your kids.

M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver