Thanks BL, I did contact some Ls today, have a consultation to cover rights next Monday. I hate doing this feels sneaky but cannot ignore the fact she said she was getting one and the emotional abuse comment. She also stated everything’s documented and everyone knows. So she’s obviously talking about this with who knows outside the relationship. I talk to this group, my sponsor and other men from my support groups, and IC only. Our families know we are in an in house separation and that she is in recovery for alcohol. I did have to talk to my parents yesterday and provide some details, due to her involving them, but did not bring up the SA issues my W has had.
One of the best things I did in my situation was consult an attorney. Knowledge is power! Just knowing what the process was in my state, and that the things my WW was telling me weren't true was a big help.
Also you aren't being sneaky. You are doing what she asked for. It is only logical that when a WAS drops the D bomb and starts throwing around the word abuse, for a LBS to do what you are doing. That she doesn't need to know is irrelevant. A rational thinking person would completely understand.
Good on you for not talking about your situations to others. I understand that sometimes it is unavoidable, like with your parents. But in general, it is a good rule of thumb to not talk to friends and family about the situation. Lots of reasons for that I won't go into here, but you have been doing well in that regard it sounds like.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
