Wayward Wife help (2)

[BL42]

FwdMvmnt,

She is burning household items in the fire pit in the back yard. I’m not sure what all she has burned although I do know she burned the wind chimes I gifted her, so I imagine is stuff that is has to do with our marriage.

You should document everything in the house. Walk through the house recording a video and take pictures of all the valuable items. Probably she's just destroying items with marital / relationship meaning, and if so, just let them go...but she also seems to be extra crazy compared to most so better to protect yourself financially. It'll only take you 20 mins or whatever. Who knows what it might save you.

I understand that there is most likely an affair either physical or emotionally which is the difference in her moods when she returns.

Yes. Unfortunately "most likely" is probably underestimating the possibility.

I am totally working my program.

Good! Keep it up.

I locked the door, while I was getting dressed, which I have never done. She came back again and asked why the door was locked. I said I was getting dressed.

Not sure it matters in your case - with your W's issues - but this may have been a missed opportunity for practicing some mystery and attraction. Instead of answering her factually/bluntly, what if you had smiled and said something like "wouldn't you like to know" with a wink.

She made a comment about that’s new, not sure why you are doing that.

She's been spending time texting OM in the bathroom, right? Maybe she's projecting her actions onto yours...who's he texting in there?

The weird part was that she was smoking a cigarette when she came in. I asked her if she could take it outside and she said no, I’m going to take a shower.

I did record this conversation. Going to make that a habit, I looked on line and it seems my state is a one party consent state.

Good! Glad you know your rights. You better record a lot more considering your W's issues and actions.

told me she was going to let the Safe House know how I am emotional abusing her and that she is hiring a lawyer and filing for divorce.

Get an L ASAP.

I still can’t believe this is happening.

Believe it. It happens. The faster you accept it and process what's going on the quicker you can protect yourself and your kids.

I asked her if she could take it outside and she said no

This is a controlling statement. DO NOT TRY TO CONTROL HER. See how she says NO. Now what?

I agree 100 %

The first words that came to mind were...

Stop playing the game....

So R2C & Mach1 I had a different read here. She's being disrespectful. Didn't think it was inappropriate for FwdMvmnt to ask her politely to turn down her volume when she was disturbing him and D18's show or to not smoke in the house. Isn't that just common decency you'd ask anyone? To me that's different than controlling her actions - like cancelling the credit card probably was - but maybe to your point she's going to do whatever she wants anyway so maybe he shouldn't bother.