What to do 4

[DonH]

I took her out of being a divorced mom of 2 young kids 6/8) living paycheck to paycheck. I was an at home parent while she worked 60 hours a week. I did a lot with and for the kids.

We see this a lot on the board where this gets forgotten real quickly. Doug54 comes to mind.

Well and I always try to be brutally honest, fair and accurate. I was not “Mr. Mom” taking care of the house and having dinner in the table for wife and kids, I just happened to work from home - and I did work a lot. I was a full time executive director plus ran the local fire department and did a few band gigs here and there, though a fraction of what I currently do. I could have been a better husband. I fully admit that. But it’s also not lost on me she was here and pretending to be happy until 2 days after her youngest’s graduation party. Then she dropped the bomb and right or wrong I was shocked.

I have said this a dozen times on here. Being alone is a thousand times better than leaving in limbo.

I’m so in total agreement here. I’ll add that on balance I’m still happier than I was, on while married. It’s mostly just social things and travel I miss. Otherwise I don’t have anyone fighting with me, upset with me, bickering with me. I can do what I want when I want. If a friend or group calls and says hey we’re doing fill in the blank Saturday my answer is never, “let me check with the wife”. Heck even at the big Christmas show production I did, I had a hotel room by myself. So did the woman of the couple who hired me while her husband stayed in their tour bus. I kid you not. Clearly married in name only. He probably totally envies me.

So there is no perfect answer. It’s just that woman typically run the social calendar side of an R. She plans it and the guy just shows up. I miss that. I miss having someone to go to concerts with or plays or, yes cruises. Although my date a few weeks ago said she goes to baseball games by herself especially when discount tickets go on sale. She runs a meetup group of people who go check out different restaurants, which is somewhat how I met her. D’d for 26 years, no kids and very clearly very independent. Is totally fine being single. I get the feeling she’s dating only because she’s feeling pushed to or is pushing herself to at least try. I was the second guy she was out with THIS YEAR. It’s December.

Before I babble too much further my point is I fully agree people can be happy after D. I certainly am. But I’ve yet to realize the “I found someone so much better” because I have not and I dint see others hitting that milestone either.

This is why I think so many people who left, years down the road think "I wish I would have tried harder". Since no one is perfect it is best to be with the mother/father of your children.

ONE HUNDRED PERCENT!!! In fact this is what MWD hits heavy on. Yet how many, especially women, will file for D this year thinking that’s their ticket to finally finding happiness.