Wolfman Moving Forward 5

[Wolfman]

Wolf I’ve mentioned in other posts a national radio doc I first heard in my early days of working in radio some 40 years ago. She’s still on the radio, currently XM. She very often states the largest reason for failed Rs in second marriages is due to children from the previous R. She will never feel the same way about your children as she does about the child you and her have together. If the house is on fire and she can only save one child is there any doubt in your mind who it will be?

She clearly wants a man with no previous children. That’s very unlikely to change. Your kids are suffering because if it. They already have had their life ripped apart. Now they have lost you to her. I totally agree with G you losing your D is very likely due to her. If you are accurate in what you tell us, she seems like a huge spoiled brat. Daddies little princess I’m guessing. Even when he doesn’t bow down to her, you see how she responds. She wants her way. She doesn’t want to compromise. She got involved and got knocked up by a newly divorced man with previous children. Now she wants him to abandon these children. Sounds like a dream girl. Of course that’s sarcasm because it sounds like a nightmare with a spoiled little brat that has a whole lot of growing up to do.

You are absolutely correct. She acts like a spoiled brat and when she doesn't get her away she throw a "temper tantrum". Like I said in other posts, she didn't understand what it meant to date someone with kids. Because I lived with my parents and she didn't see the kids all the time and the sacrifices I made. I would have thought us having our own child she would have understood what in meant to have kids and how important they are. If anything it made it worse.

Good Morning Wolf

I agree with LH. Sit down with GF and have a conversation with her.

I would suggest a few things. Ensure son is napping. Sit down with her. Take your phone out and shut it off! In front of her. Then start off with something like: GF, I am sorry you feel unimportant. You are very important to me, and I apologize for not displaying that often enough. You have my complete and undivided attention, and I am willing to listen.

Communication is key to everything. GF is still talking to you. She hopes you’ll understand how she feels. Validate her feelings and gently prompt her to expand upon them. She’s needs to lead that. It’s her feelings after all.

I have done these things, said these things too. She wants full control and I just have to listen and thats it. I want to be honest with all of you. She is very very attractive. She gets a lot of attention. So, guys she dated in the past did whatever she wanted. 2 things about this. Of course at the beginning a lot of men will do that to get in the pants. 2. She never had a relationship over a year. So she thinks men should and will do whatever she wants. That is not a relationship. Its give and take, its about compromises. She doesn't get that, she is just used to getting her way. Not for nothing I give her a lot of things that I don't always agree with.

May I also suggest you get like 200 steps ahead? Consult a lawyer find out your rights about your baby, custody, support, your GF living with you.

Seriously plan like this is going to end. You need to have something in place

I think you are right about this. Ugh i am so sad. But I have no one to blame but myself. I hope newbies read my situation and learn and don't make the same mistakes I have made.