What to do 3

[BL42]

MikeP,

Unfortunately after W called me on her lunch break I’ve fallen into the same old trap of thinking about her and him working together. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be ok with it.

I think there is zero chance she finds a new job if I push it. She knows how much it bothers me yet wouldn’t look for a new job when I asked. Maybe I’m wrong, but if she is unsure about our future I don’t think an ultimatum will work in my favor.

Mike your instincts on ultimatums are correct. They rarely work out the way you would want them too. Mainly because they are an attempt at controlling things you have no control over.

I agree that for your M to work long term W needs to stop working with OM. I also suspect you and SteveLW are right that an ultimatum right now may likely not go your way. Steve's right about control. You can't control her and make her do something. She needs to WANT to do it.

One way or another I’ve got to go for a run after I drop D off at b-ball practice. Running seems to be the one thing that consistently shuts down the bs in my head 🤞🏻

Exercise is a fantastic way of dealing with it. Not only is it a distraction, but it's good for your health, your appearance, your confidence...etc. Keep it up.

I will say it’s getting harder to tolerate, I might be getting close to pushing the issue.

Sometimes I think I can deal with it as long as necessary. Other days I want to throw in the towel.

Keep in mind emotions are fleeting. It's natural to go back and forth. The key is not to react based on those emotions.