I'll add, maybe not even when she initiates! Remember to be doing DBing well you need to be so busy that you don't have time to talk. "I have somewhere to be right now." No "sorry". No promise of a future discussion, just I have to be somewhere. Vague. Avoid telling her what you are doing or who are doing it with. Remember, she is firing you as her husband. She needs to start seeing what that looks like.

Glad you found the sticky helpful. We had had a rash of newbies when I wrote that who claimed that DBing felt unloving. It isn't! It is simply giving the WAS/WS exactly what they asked for.

Remember, if she initiates a discussion, you want to mainly just listen and validate her feelings. Right now R talks have little chance of helping you.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018