Feel like total crud today, woke up with a sore back and shoulder. I recently aggravated an old shoulder injury at the gym. Ugh. Just felt really tired, good day to stay home and just veg out. Unfortunately after W called me on her lunch break I’ve fallen into the same old trap of thinking about her and him working together. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be ok with it. One way or another I’ve got to go for a run after I drop D off at b-ball practice. Running seems to be the one thing that consistently shuts down the bs in my head 🤞🏻
MikeP, have you thought what reconciliation looks like for you? I am completely on board with "You have to find another job." being a stipulation for her in order for you to accept that she is serious about reconciling. Be high value. Expect more. Don't settle.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
MikeP, have you thought what reconciliation looks like for you? I am completely on board with "You have to find another job." being a stipulation for her in order for you to accept that she is serious about reconciling. Be high value. Expect more. Don't settle.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Good question. I suppose I have to tolerate it if I don’t want things to end now. I think there is zero chance she finds a new job if I push it. She knows how much it bothers me yet wouldn’t look for a new job when I asked. Maybe I’m wrong, but if she is unsure about our future I don’t think an ultimatum will work in my favor. I will say it’s getting harder to tolerate, I might be getting close to pushing the issue. Good to hear from you by the way.
Mike your instincts on ultimatums are correct. They rarely work out the way you would want them too. Mainly because they are an attempt at controlling things you have no control over.I understand what you mean by feeling like you have to tolerate it for now. I guess the question is how long are you willing to tolerate it?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Mike your instincts on ultimatums are correct. They rarely work out the way you would want them too. Mainly because they are an attempt at controlling things you have no control over.I understand what you mean by feeling like you have to tolerate it for now. I guess the question is how long are you willing to tolerate it?
Sometimes I think I can deal with it as long as necessary. Other days I want to throw in the towel. When she was seeing the om and not hiding it I put up with it until it started negatively affecting me mentally. I reached my tipping point and that was that. Fortunately she stopped seeing him. Unfortunately she still works with him. I only lasted roughly a month with the om sitch. Obviously I can deal with this better but not sure how much longer. At some point I suppose I will make this a boundary-If she continues to work with the om, I will decide to look into a D. I would ask her again to look for a new job before making such a drastic move.
