DnJ, BL42, and Kind18, I really appreciate your advice. I've filed away the suggested for responses should H bring up D paperwork again. Thankfully (well, if H sticks to his word), I won't need to use them, at least for a while.
It's funny, after BD, I naturally went dark and have been really good about following the 24-48 hr rule. I was (still am) so hurt that I just didn't want to initiate contact and invite more rejection. And I take my time responding to texts because they are so few and far between, each exchange feels very high-stakes.
That is good that you pulled back. Most LBSs do the opposite. Pressure and pursuit are the way to push a WAS away faster than anything. Keep up sitting on responses and NOT initiating contact. Remember, texts that are not a question do not need a response. Texts that ask direct questions should be answered in your own time (you are already doing that) and should answer the questions in as few words as possible. Yes or no questions get yes or no answers!
Also, yes, especially early on, all communications feel way heavier and meaningful than they probably are. Remember, the WAS is also having feelings that are up and down. So you never know what emotional state they are in at any given moment themselves.
Originally Posted by marching
I am starting to plan my move. I'm staying with my parents through the holidays. After that, I'm heading to a city on the other side of the country, where my work is based and my friends live. Don't know when I will ever go back to Country B, where H lives.
I agree with my friends, therapist, and the DBers here that NOT going back to Country B is the best choice for my mental health. Still, I feel sad about it. I am accepting the feeling and letting it pass...
Where you live, in my opinion, is completely up to you and where you want to live! Don't stay in Country B because he is there. But if you truly want to live in Country B then by all means make that happen! If you would prefer to move back to where your work and friends are, and that is your preference, then do that. Please do not make all of your decisions about him.
ALso, meant to say I like how you seem to have a handle on how to control expectations. Expectations will set you back almost every time. So well done on understanding that!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
