Don’t get excited mate. Things aren’t better now because she’s temporarily calmed down.
You seem like most NGS guys who arrive here. You see calm and less adversarial as better, and you see her livid, angry and foaming at the mouth as bad.
You need to flip 180 on this. Learn to embrace it.
Sure, maybe locking the CCs wasn’t the smartest idea. But you know what, let her flip the table, let her start manipulating your family with messages. She can get as angry as she likes. Don’t be afraid of it. She gets angry and throws her toys out of the pram because she knows she usually gets her way when she does that. She sounds like a child wrapped in an adult body.
Would you give you dog a treat if it pissed on the carpet? Same thing here. Ignore and be completely unswayed by bullsh*t behaviour. Only respond and engage with reasonable behaviour. You just stay cool and calm and happy 24/7 😎
It is my firm belief in your case that: a) it is very unlikely this marriage will be saved. She’s an out of control addict with anger issues who is verbalising she wants sex with other men. The chances she hasn’t done that already are slim to none b) you REALLY need to sit down with a counsellor for a few hours and ponder the following question - Why do I want to be with this woman?
My gut feeling is that your sense of religious obligation and even moreso your fear of the unknown is keeping you from admitting that this person is a very toxic, very selfish and very dangerous person to be around for the next 50+ years.
A few last bits: 1. Call your parents and explain. Ask them not to respond to her. 2. Install wifi cameras in your house to protect your possessions. With an imminent divorce she will steal things to pay for drugs/sex/alcohol 3. Do not interact with her or even be in the same place with her without your phone recording audio. It’s very clear she’s going to make fake DV claims 4. Protect your children at all costs. Consider taking 6 year old and leaving.
I get your religious obligations around marriage. I really do - that used to be me. But my WW was going to church on the weekend, and banging other guys during the week. Looking back, my sense of religious obligation is one of my huge regrets. It just made a bad situation worse because I hung in there through atrocious behaviour.
If you left this marriage now, when your time comes, I’m pretty sure your God would look at your decision to protect yourself and your six year old from a toxic, manipulative addict and wouldn’t begrudge you for leaving.
