Wayward Wife help

[BL42]

AJK29,

My wife and I have been married for 22 years. I am 44 and she is 42. We have 4 children they are 22,19,16 and 6.

You two were married very young. If you're married 22 years and have a 22 year old, did you get married because she was pregnant? Did you two have any significant relationships before each other? What is each of your family history (specifically parents marriage status)?

We moved about 3 years ago for my job and I found out in July she was on a website meeting men and had multiple partners. She has been in recovery before for alcohol and Love addiction back in 2015, and we didn’t have too many problems after we had our 6 year old. She has utilized AA for meeting people in the past.

Was it just in July you found out she had affairs, or were there issues in years past? Sounds like maybe the latter but I'm not 100% clear.

After about a month she started blaming all the addictions on our marriage

It's so incredibly common for the WAS/WS to blame the marriage and their spouse for all their problems. Not that you're perfect, but keep that in mind when the doubts creep into your head about why she cheated on you and wants a divorce.

This last weekend she told me she wanted to start having sex again, which we have been in abstinence per her program, but not with me.

You haven't been having sex because of her abstinence program? For how long?

She then told me this last weekend she has a guys phone number she’s been texting and talking with, but that they are just friends.

If she admitted to this than rest assured more happened, though above you said multiple partners so maybe I'm a bit confused.

AJK29 - Sounds like your W has multiple serious issues. You have a tough road ahead of you. How are your kids doing?