My wife and I have been married for 22 years. I am 44 and she is 42. We have 4 children they are 22,19,16 and 6. We moved about 3 years ago for my job and I found out in July she was on a website meeting men and had multiple partners. She has been in recovery before for alcohol and Love addiction back in 2015, and we didn’t have too many problems after we had our 6 year old. She has utilized AA for meeting people in the past. She did not return to AA, until this year and it was after she was outed. She was remorseful at first and started counseling, AA again, SAA and started going back to church. After about a month she started blaming all the addictions on our marriage and was saying that she didn’t know if she wanted to be married any longer, last month she said she didn’t want to work on the marriage at all, so we did an in house separation. This is when I left the room. We were in marriage counseling at the time but didn’t get much direction. She then wanted to stop the counseling. She also stopped working her SA program and said was just going to use AA. This last weekend she told me she wanted to start having sex again, which we have been in abstinence per her program, but not with me. That she wanted to just do it with a friend where there are no strings. She then told me this last weekend she has a guys phone number she’s been texting and talking with, but that they are just friends. Per her programs she was not supposed to be getting guys phone number and it crossed the separation agreement we set up. Today I told her I wanted the bedroom back and that when we go home, I don’t want to be at her Family Christmas and that I did not want her at mine. I would like to Salvage the marriage if possible but only if in active recovery and willing to work on it. I have Catholic faith and believe in the scriptural definition of marriage. I’m not sure if this was right thing to do or not today, but I can’t keep doing the same things. Sounds crazy writing this out, but I realize this is an addiction and know that her soul is genuine. Sorry for any typos, writing on my phone.
Last edited by Michele Weiner-Davis; 12/10/2205:28 PM. Reason: Corrected typo.
