DnJ, thanks so much for the advice on how to respond, and R2C, thanks so much for stopping by my thread and thinking about my situation!
My response borrowed from DnJ's suggestion. It didn't follow the principle of less-is-more; I also explained myself a bit (contrary to what BL42 advised earlier). But I think it worked.
Paraphrase of the convo:
M: I hear what you are saying about wanting to proceed. I'm sorry, I cannot give you a response right now. [A few sentences giving a high-level description of the complex uncertainties of my life since BD and saying that resolving them will take time. Said I could give more details if he wants. And I am willing to listen if he has thoughts.]
H: I understand. And I am sorry about it too. [Said he'll wait until I let him know and that he won't bring it up again.]
M: Thank you.
Funny how this very brief text exchange brought up so many emotions. Relief because I truly don't have the bandwidth right now to begin an international divorce process. Anger because 1) H said that he already understood 10 days ago and 2) his apology is crap. He didn't even spell out what he's sorry for. And if he truly felt sorry, he would have for example, um, not KICKED ME OUT OF OUR APARTMENT and left me to fend for myself in a foreign country. He would have offered help for my current issues. (Actions, not words!) Hope because...hey, I slowed things down, changed the tone of our interaction, and maybe got him to wake up a little? (Before you come at me with the 2x4...I know, having expectations and mind-reading are BAD).
Then I cried out of frustration for having worried about this for so many hours. For things being so strained with the person who, just days before BD, was telling me that he loved me, was so happy about setting up our new home. I felt the pain that hits me every so often: the pain of feeling that don't have a home.
And now the divorce ball is in my court (unless H changes his mind, again). Now what? What is my plan going forward? (Apart from the usual GAL and DB stuff).
