D4’s birthday is coming up. W has not participated in any of the planning so far so I took the lead. I booked the location (a swimming pool), got the decorations picked out and invited some of my family. We have had a couple of parties here before. W and I didn’t talk much about it until Monday when W asked if I had invited anyone. I told her I had invited my family and W blew up. She was mad at me for not thinking about her feelings about being around my family...
As others say, she will be angry no matter what you do. So you do the right thing for your D.
You can "test" her with this: "I have been thinking about what you said and I think it is best if you don't go to the pool with my family." This may (most likely will) result ina an emotional reaction (which you are fine with).
Another option is to give her a choice, She can invite her family and join you at the pool or she can celebrate in a different way at a different time with her family. Her choice. You are fine with either choice.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
