A question - I know you are supposed to do things like connect back with friends and to make her be curious about my whereabouts. Do you tell her what you are doing/going? Or do you just say “hey I made some plans and will be out”.
Things like connecting back with friends and other “get a life” activities are for you. You reconnect with friends because you care about them. You try new, and those old forgotten, hobbies because you are investing in yourself. Making one’s spouse curious is a positive byproduct of GAL - not the reason for it.
As for how much detail to tell. It depends on the scenario. Just keep any pressure dialled way down. A general, I’m heading out for a few hours, should suffice. Other times, D and I are getting an Xmas tree. Want to come along?, would be more appropriate. It depends on the scenario, and that day.
Be kind and cordial. Keep your side of the street in order.
Originally Posted by br4nd0n
I feel like I'm just coming off upset/annoyed/short with her.
Which I am...I'm heartbroken and I don't want to loose my wife...so It's tough.
I understand. It is tough!
And yes, heartbreak hurts plenty.
The anger, the upset, annoyed, being short with her, sweat that out of you. Find a mechanism to process and release those feelings. A nice run. A punching bag. Shovelling snow. Or digging a garden. (It’s -30C here this morning so no gardening for me. ). Do something safe and away from W.
And new feelings will well up again. And need to be processed again. Each time getting a bit easier, a bit better, as you craft new internal pathways of coping and thinking.
Kind and cordial.
Be better, not bitter.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
). Do something safe and away from W.
