So this is an update I didn't want to have to give.

I did listen everyone's feedback about telling her that there wasn't a reason to attend anymore counseling sessions until she figured out what she wanted. But I thought to myself, my WAW is different because there doesn't seem to be an EA/PA. Maybe it can be different I thought to myself.

I also had more conversations with my wife than I should have. If you read my initial post, I talk about her really struggling with resentment in our relationship. I was annoyed that she hadn't wrote out the resentments like the counselor asked her to do because that felt like she wasn't even trying and she told me that she actually had legitimately forgiven for the resentments, believes my sincere apology, and also sincerely believes that once the bomb drop happened, something in me changed and made we want to be a better person.

All that said, she still "feels done" with the relationship.

I was at least feeling better that she had forgiven me for the resentments and thought well if only we could get some alone time together I could fix this.

So we go to couples counseling and we had an opportunity to go out just the two of us this past Friday while our daughter was at an overnight birthday party.

She really wasn't into going but she agreed with the assist of the counselor as long as I wouldn't follow up on how the date went, no analysis of the romantic side whatsoever, until back in counseling session.

So our alone date on Friday:

It goes amazing! We went to an intimate place she loves for a drink before dinner. In a non-pressuring way, I got her to hold my hand. I said, "Are you ready for our first date?" with a smile and stuck out my hand. We then held hands everywhere we went and it felt amazing!

We then go to an intimate dinner place I picked out and it goes amazing as well. I felt like she was really giving reconnecting a chance for the first time since the bomb drop. There was undeniable chemistry and connection. I got her to talk about many special memories we had in the past in our relationship, when we first met, vacations, when I was most romantic, etc. and we relived those together and discussed how we felt in those moments.

When we got home after dinner, in a very non pressure way, I asked about initiating intimacy (massage) thinking I would completely respect her saying no.

Well to my surprise, she said YES!

We got intimate that night.

I woke up feeling the best I had in months. I thought I was going to come back here and tell you guys I cracked the code.

Wellllllll, starting from the morning after, I immediately sensed withdrawn behavior again.

What I also realized is that we actually had Saturday night without our Daughter all night before too. But she scheduled time to have dinner and hang out with a girlfriend without telling me. Which hanging out with a friend isn't a big deal but it made me think that she already made the plans with her friend as an escape as it if it was predetermined that our date on Friday would fail. As if she couldn't possibly want another intimate night together on Saturday either.

So I try to keep the momentum going from our Friday date. While she goes out with her friend, I use GAL principle and go out with an old friend of mine as well. Just dinner as well so I get home around the same time.

Earlier in the day I asked if she wanted to watch a movie when we both got home but she didn't say yes or no, kind of avoided it.

Well so she goes out with her friend, I go out with mine. She probably beats me home about 20-25 minutes. I send her a picture of my friends new Corvette because I was riding with him....no text back.

Well I come in the door, hoping we can watch a movie, maybe have some wine, etc. and she is already in bed.....I knew things were not looking good.

Sunday morning, I tried to be lightly intimate and was rejected. Again, I can see things are not good which I'm really confused by since we had such a great time on Friday and even had sex.

So Sunday is really tense and withdrawn. We have our meeting with the Counselor today.

We talk about everything that happened and she still feels done with the relationship.

She said that it didn't change her mind and that was the apprehension of her going on the date to begin with.

So now we're at a place where were going to do an official "break" where we still live together obviously but no pressure, etc. She did admit that the more she feels pressure, the more it makes her feel "done" with the relationship and withdraw....basically the exactly what divorce busting says lol

Anyways, we're supposed to talk on Thursday of what that break looks like.

So I'm pretty much back where I started. Confusing but it is what it is.

I know that once the official "break" is there, I need to follow the DB principles, GAL, be the best father to my daughter, no texting/requests for dates, and just be a better me in hopes that she comes back around.

But this time, waiting for HER to talk about the relationship when shes ready.