Hey Mike, I’ve been following along silently like I do for most. I just wanted to tell you, you’re going to be ok.
There is the other side for this situation. We just don’t know what it looks like yet, either way, you’re going to be ok.
I just wanted to throw some encouragement towards you, because going through this is like walking up to a rollercoaster you’ve never been on or seen blindfolded and merrily sent on your way.
However, you can find peace in the storm. Is there anything you use to do? Ride a bike, target shooting, motorcycle, skiing, snow mobiles?
What helped me was realizing I was on my own for the first time in like ever. I could paint the walls whatever color I wanted. I could turn my basement into an arcade. I could blast music, make food I wanted.…honestly I got so excited about the arcade that become a must have regardless of the outcome! I also got my motorcycle which became and remains my therapy when I stopped IC.
I do hope in a year or two we’ll see you in the piecing forum if not sooner. I do, but I also just wanted to remind you, even in the lowest of times, and trust me, I’ve been there, you will be ok.
Thanks for the encouragement, I really appreciate it. It’s definitely a crazy ride, I have to remind myself that others have been in much crazier rides. I’ve always been into shooting and fishing, still do both we I have time. i used to always have an old Dodge or Plymouth to work on, been looking for one recently. I’m also looking at bikes, I’ve seen some decent ones just haven’t looked any in person yet.
I like the idea of an arcade! I have been thinking of ideas for the basement, that is a good one. For now working out and running are my therapy. Had a good, hard chest, shoulders, and triceps work out followed by a 5k run this afternoon. I’m tired but my head is clear and my mood is great.
Another bout of the Monday morning blues. Went to bed feeling fine, wake up feeling hopeless. I think too much about all the people that struggle through this for years and never make it.
"Just one more mornin' I had to wake up with the blues Pulled myself outta bed, yeah Put on my walkin' shoes"
Started singing this in my head while driving to work. I love the Allman brothers. Need to listen to Blue Sky, that always cheers me up.
Just reread " A few things you should know" by Jack 3 Beans in the MLC forum. Nice reminder. Especially the part about not looking too far down the road.
Not much going on, just cruising in limbo. I've been doing a pretty good job of giving her space and GAL. Had a rough day Monday but I got over it. Running and hitting the gym help so much.
Another bout of the Monday morning blues. Went to bed feeling fine, wake up feeling hopeless. I think too much about all the people that struggle through this for years and never make it.
What if I were to tell you that "the people" become better versions of themselves, go on an incredible journey, meet many new amazing people and are happier now than they have ever been? Still feel sorry for them?
There was a popular poster named AnotherStander (read his threads) who you to post the quote below from the show Vikings. The Seer could see into the future as can I.
"Oh, Mikey P, if you truly knew what the gods have in store for you, you would go down now and dance naked on the beach".
Good days come. Good days go. Just keep on keeping on! You got this Mike. You are well on your way to the best version of yourself that you can be! She may notice and want to tag along. She may notice and still not be interested. She may not even notice. But you will still be the best MikeP you can be.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Forgot to add a big detail: I applied for retirement today and should be officially retired on my birthday 1/1! I've looked forward to this moment for so long, now I'm a little apprehensive about it. Going to take a month or so off to work on the house and myself. Get back to work somewhere after that.
Forgot to add a big detail: I applied for retirement today and should be officially retired on my birthday 1/1! I've looked forward to this moment for so long, now I'm a little apprehensive about it. Going to take a month or so off to work on the house and myself. Get back to work somewhere after that.
Congrats on filing for retirement!
Remember the advice you got here, and make sure to consult L about the implications of retirement and a new job in relation to the possibility of divorce. Be smart financially and make a good business decision:
Originally Posted by BL42
Originally Posted by Kind18
If it looks like she is imminently going to file, I’d retire. Go through the divorce and financial split while you are retired. She gets her money at that point based on you not earning any more. Perhaps won’t get alimony if you’ve retired.
Get the $$s split done so you lose as little as possible. Once it’s all squared away, then you can look at deciding to get a new job.
If you start a new job, well paid, and then she files - it could put you in a much worse financial position.
Kind18's advice seems VERY wise. Way better to base support off a retirement / little income than a nice new flashy job. Be smart. And don't feel bad about getting the best deal. SHE is the one who wants a divorce.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
