Marching in limbo with MLC H

[BL42]

marching,

How should I handle communication with the in-laws? We don't chat regularly, but we do follow each other on social media. I know they are still looking at my updates.

Just my opinion, but I'd keep the status quo. What's the impetus for change? There's no rush, especially if you're not in regular communication as it is.

I'm wondering in particular about whether I should say goodbye to them (especially my MIL) and then unfollow them.

I would not do this. It'll come off as pressure on him (via his family), and likely will not be received well. Plus HE needs to decide to change his path - it's unlikely they'll be able to do that as your proxy (if they'd even try).

Maybe it's premature for that?

Yes, I think so.

Do I just not engage with their posts?

Seems reasonable.

We usually send holiday and New Year's messages to each other. Feels weird to say nothing.

If they reach out to say Happy Holidays no reason you can't give a polite response in kind.

I don't know what H has told them, or if he has said anything at all.

Not your role to inform him. He'll communicate on him time.

I don't know if he will visit them for the holidays.

Not your concern.

Not so deep down, do I have an ulterior motive? Absolutely. Not to be a tattle-tale, exactly, but I *am* worried about H, and want to express my concerns to MIL. Is this controlling behavior? Yes, I have a feeling it is...

Certainly comes off on this side as an effort to get his family pressuring, which is typically not recommended here.