WAW w/Exit Affair or WW? - 1.5 Year Divorced (8)

[DnJ]

Hello BL

I thought I’d drop by:

You are giving excellent advice to posters. I enjoy reading your well thought out suggestions. Well done!



Somehow I missed a couple your posts.

I love the after Thanksgiving tradition. Green Christmas tree pancakes sound awesome. M&Ms ornaments and whipped cream garland, the kids would love those! The whole days sounds wonderful.

Well done not letting your feelings take over your day and ruin it. How long until they fleeted? Just curious, if you don’t mind.

It hit me a bit hard on the drive back and definitely on my mind during the workout (which of course helped), and I think it lingered throughout the day and perhaps later on I was a bit down being the holiday. When my kids returned that evening I felt the love and was back in full fledge loving dad mode.

Sounds like a reasonable response. And timeline.

“Hit me a bit hard” is the triggered feelings. Hit. Non rational. Felt. Emotions influencing thoughts.

“On my mind”, “lingered throughout the day” is the reinforcing of the feelings. Thoughts influencing emotions.

Absolutely nothing wrong with any of that. You didn’t get dragged around. And you controlled your thoughts and actions. And yes, a bit down due to the holiday is understandable and mixed in too.

Next time, fleeting will be even quicker. Your mind now has a map. A route. A guide. Telling yourself (and me) about your timeline crafts and reinforces the route. Your mind is listening. It now knows. And realizes that it knows. (Well you do. Seriously I’m not bonkers, it is just helpful to see your mind separate. If you know what I mean. ) Anyhow, with that route established, it’s just a matter of how swiftly now.

You know you can do it. It’s similar for forgiveness. Once we know and believe we can get over the hurdle, we’re there.

And forgiving really lessens the triggering in the first place.

Take care.

D