Is it a MLC or??

[BL42]

Reeling,

Regarding the affair / other woman...I put together a timeline of comments on your (relatively) short thread. I don't mean this to hurt you - you're certainly not alone in thinking there was no affair, as there are countless others - but rather to inform / demonstrate an example of / help other Newbies on what is unfortunately an extremely common occurrence here:

One thing I must say up front is there is no other woman. 100% on that.

Also, regarding your 100% certainty that there’s no-one else - I’ve been around this site and several others for three years now, and have heard that hundreds of times from Newcomers. But in 99% of those cases, there is someone else. They hide it very well. They lie, they cheat, they cover their tracks.

But in 99% of those cases, there is someone else.

It’s not that high—there was no AP in my situation and several others I could name at the time of BD—but at least 80% who insist there’s no AP end up discovering one. Challenge your assumption, especially if it’s based on words or you think he couldn’t find time, but don’t fall deep into paranoia if you’re certain that’s not the case or at least not why he left.

Traveler - the percentage is a little lower when women leave, but when men leave the odds of an OW are well over 95%. Yes, I thought my exH wasn’t cheating when I first came here too! (Silly me!!!)

As others have mentioned, brace yourself for the likelihood there is another party involved. Whether the percentage is 80 or 99, the point is in the vast majority of cases here it ends up coming to light at some point that the spouse leaving is/was having an affair...even when the LBS swears up and down it's not possible.

So, honestly, I know I sound naïve and may never convince some of you, but there truly, honestly is no other woman. I am fully aware there may be eventually. Right now, there is not. I have so many reasons for saying this and won't go into them all.

There are so many reasons I know there is no OW but I don’t want to make my entire response consist of me pointing out why there is no OW. There truly isn’t. This is not me being naiive; this is what his very good friends have also told me.

A few months later...

For yes, yes indeed folks, there was an emotional affair. For those of you who’ve read my story, you will see how much I denied the existence of someone else when I first came on here. I am here to say I was wrong and those of you who suggested it were right.