My wife says she is done

[BL42]

Dats000,

Her parents still married my parents divorced when I was one Hurley brother severely autistic so I thought she had great model parents to stay married under those circumstances.

Her parents still married through tough times does seem like a green flag.

*Custody - Do not settle for anything less than 50/50.

Wife ok with 50/50

*Child Support & *Spousal Support

We make about the same amount of money

If your W won't contest 50/50 (may not have any grounds to anyway) and you make a similar amount of money, that'll make things fairly straightforward and you won't waste time and more importantly money on Ls.

*Assets -

I live in an Equal Distribution state? I owned a house that will have non-marital asset. She doesn’t want our house we live in. said she would take the house that we rent out that I owned before our marriage and sell it.

Sounds familiar. I stayed in the marital house and W moved into the house we rented out. Better consult L on this one. If you owned the rental prior to the marriage, her name is not on the deed, and the rental income has been covering the mortgage and expenses since...you may possibly have rights to the house and its equity outright in an equitable distribution state. Not sure on an equal distribution state.

10 years without sex is a LONG time.

- If you watch Michelle’s sex starved marriage Ted talk that is similar to what happened to us. Oddly enough in my other two longer relationships I couldn’t get enough sex. In this one physical attraction wasn’t so much there and It just got awkward. She resented me and eventually closed off any type of touch or kisses

I've watched it. So you weren't willing to have sex with W, and she was the frustrated one? Typically around here it's the other way around. Was it just a physical attraction thing, or were there other issues at play? I assume you were physically attracted to her at the start. What happened along the way? There are playing of folks on here who went through SSM and were plenty frustrated and let that lead to resentment in the R. You could get some perspective on how W was feeling about that. Maybe moreso as a woman being the frustrated party because of culture assuming the reverse. If you're not sexually attracted to her and don't want to have sex with her why are you trying to DB? And for the kids and to keep the family together is a perfectly good answer, but are you willing to work on the other aspect?

We did counseling after a couple years of the marriage and that worked great. Then we got off track and on auto pilot and everything started going bad again.

Lots of improvements here tail off over time and people revert to the mean. Key is to make them stick.

that’s about six years of me with some pretty bad anxiety issues on and off.
Six years is a long time.

You can hopefully understand why the WAS/WS doesn't trust changes over a week or a month timeframe.

Now I’m seeing my IC again for my W wanting the D. IC got me back on track

Good you're back in IC. Don't give it up this time.

but this time my wife wants nothing to do with me

Easier said than done when all you want is for things to "go back to normal", but you have to give her space and time. More than she even wants.

Now I’m here writing to you.

Good. Stay here and keep posting and people will keep giving you advice and feedback. Many come for a brief time and then disappear. Like your IC don't fall off.

Sorry to ask, but...any signs of an affair?

Nothings yet

Better there are no signs than something obvious, but brace yourself for the very real possibility. Read Reeling's post earlier. There's an affair in the vast majority of cases on this board, even when at first there are no signs or the person swears up and down it's not possible.