^Ah! I posted my response before I saw yours! You really are a ninja.
If I had no H, I would stay in Country A. I definitely am leaning toward staying in Country A.
Bomb drop was just a few days before his birthday. He's been complaining of feeling old for the past couple of years.
As for a possible trigger within 12-18 months of bomb drop. He got a very major promotion 1.5 years ago. He was very stressed leading up to it—the application process is extremely grueling. Anyway, he got it, and it was a huge relief. He is very young to be where he is in his career. He's extremely accomplished. After the promotion, he was unhappy and said that he didn't have any more goals. Since then, he's been feeling a bit stagnant. His started a new project that hasn't gotten very encouraging feedback.
I also wonder if visiting his family in his home country (he is not from either Country A or B) in the weeks leading up to bomb drop could have dredged up some FOO issues. He hadn't seen his family in 3 years because of COVID, and he has a very complicated relationship with them. His parents married and divorced each other twice (during his teen years no less), and his dad has alcohol problems. [Edit: We attended his sister's wedding during this trip, too.]
I forgot to mention in my first post that in the days before bomb drop (during the meltdown), he talked about wanting to quit his job and buy a farm in his home country. He knows nothing about farming and hates bugs. At first, I thought he was joking, so I laughed, and he became very hurt. Then he angrily acknowledged, "I know, I am having reckless ideas!"
Funny thing about the apple for dinner. That really felt like it came out of nowhere. But now that I am writing this, I realize that when were talking about starting a family, he said that he'd cook more and eat more healthily to be a good example for the kids. So maybe there's a connection there.
The thing is, his diet isn't that bad at all. I've never told him I thought he ate poorly. And yet—this is another realization I'm having just now—he started expressing anxiety about his eating habits in the past year or so. Which is also classic MLC.
Interesting that you say your ex also said similar things, DnJ. It makes me feel less alone and crazy to hear that.
