Hi DnJ. Wow, you were ninja quick with the welcome thread. Thanks so much. Is it ok that I posted in Newcomers? It seems more active than the MLC board. If Newcomers is the wrong place to be, could I be moved to the MLC board?
I'm working on detachment. I am trying not to take this personally. I know I didn't break him, I know I can't fix him. I was a bit of a fixer during our relationship.
I do think H is depressed and, looking back, I realized I'd missed signs over the past two years. He's been complaining about living in Country B, work, aging, sleeping problems, Youtube content (yes), nothing good on Netflix, so many things. But I know that he is the only one who can address his issues.
I miss him terribly. But I guess it's kind of a relief to not be subjected to his moods all the time. (And I remind myself that, indeed, H is giving me the gift of time. I have SO much time and space to work on myself.)
Detachment would be much harder if we were living together, I think. Because of our separation, detaching, PMA, GAL are the only things I can do. Yes, these things help me maintain my sanity. But I don't know what else I can do to improve our relationship dynamics. H doesn't initiate contact. Nor do I. There is virtually no interaction. We don't even live in the same country. What can I do but let him go?
That said, I know MLC takes a long time—years. I am only 3 months out from BD. I suspect MLC has been going on for two years already though. So maybe it's a good thing that we have so much distance between us? This way, he has allllllll the space he needs to sort out his issues.
