Ahhhhh. Thank you. I wish the universe would stop testing me. It acts like I never ever pass. He was pretty apologetic. I just told him to be more aware and good luck. I just hate when I have a renewed hope of being able to meet someone organically but it’s still the same old story.
I agree, I imagine the good ones are still married, or swooped up. The others just got divorced, can’t be alone, or just want a$$ and to enjoy their freedom. It is what it is I guess.
I’ve been Trying to get out and have more fun lately. I have 2 Christmas parties next week and me and D’s BFF since kindergartens parents go out to a local brewery around the holidays and will likely go in between the parties. I did go to the jets game last minute with a friend and met her for a drink the night before. I have some shopping and dinner with a friend Friday night.
But honestly. I just want to sleep and watch Yellowstone. I’m a loser these days. But I likely will go to those plans for New Years but leave before midnight when it gets awkward for me, lol.
D goes to the hockey game with her dad tomorrow. I thought it was going to be something she and her dad does. But of course his wife is going. I had to lend her one of my hats from my collection. And honestly, I do not like the 3 of them going to my thing with D. It irks me alot, actually. But she’s happy so I have to suck it up. I’ll be watching the game from my living room with the dog .
Oh, if you want to laugh, although I shouldn’t….. D told me ex had to go to the hospital because he was fecally impacted. He was full of sh!t. I imagined him getting manually disimpacted in the ER. And his local ER is my first hospital where I worked ICU bedside. But that is mean. And I am awful
On a positive note….I’m super proud of D. Her and friends actually started the cheer team at school. Are choreographing and teaching girls who never cheer lead. The vice principal gave them lots of accolades. I so lucked out with her. She’s the best teen I could have asked for
I want to write in defense of guys in their 40s who want "to enjoy their freedom." It isn't necessarily about only wanting to pursue the physical part (although I'm sure that is it for some guys). Personally, I find my freedom enchanting. However, I only want to invest so much of myself in a relationship. But I truly enjoy going out on romantic dates, talking and getting to know all about someone new, and shamelessly flirting in person, on the phone, and over text. It's just that I also want the relationship to end.
I want to write in defense of guys in their 40s who want "to enjoy their freedom." It isn't necessarily about only wanting to pursue the physical part (although I'm sure that is it for some guys). Personally, I find my freedom enchanting. However, I only want to invest so much of myself in a relationship. But I truly enjoy going out on romantic dates, talking and getting to know all about someone new, and shamelessly flirting in person, on the phone, and over text. It's just that I also want the relationship to end.
Spiral
Let me clarify. Freedom is beautiful. We should all have it. I have it.
What I mean is these are men who want to invest nothing . They have been “trapped” in a marriage and haven’t been single according to them. They want a date once every few weeks and on the in between just kind of disappear. It’s been my experience anyways.
But basically you want a relationship; but you want it to end? I don’t understand that. Can you clarify?
I want to write in defense of guys in their 40s who want "to enjoy their freedom." It isn't necessarily about only wanting to pursue the physical part (although I'm sure that is it for some guys). Personally, I find my freedom enchanting. However, I only want to invest so much of myself in a relationship. But I truly enjoy going out on romantic dates, talking and getting to know all about someone new, and shamelessly flirting in person, on the phone, and over text. It's just that I also want the relationship to end.
Spiral
so it's more of an interlude for you, rather than a LTR?
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Spiral - to clarify what I mean - this isn't a judgment, just a question ... a more precise parsing of the term R ... to me, what you're describing is what I would define as an interlude - something light, fun and definitely not long term.
Something most of us (if we were ruthlessly honest about it) would be more comfortable experiencing when first dipping a toe in the dating pool (or puddle)
Hope that is more clear.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
I think on both sides of the fence there is a fear of vulnerability after last relationships.
oh for me it's way more than that! Vulnerability is just the tip of the iceberg.There's expectations I don't want put on me, and baggage I don't want to deal with. There's extraneous friends and relations who always have opinions and guess what, I'm not interested in those either.
Every time I think I might be ready to date ... I think about it some more and say, 'Nah, I'm good!"
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
I just like to go out with someone once a week for dates that last 5 to 7 hours. I'm happy to do it for as long as its fun and I prefer to do that with one person at a time. I'm willing to and do text in between dates. But after about 4 or 5 months of that, women ask where its going and there's a disconnect between my long-term plans and theirs.
I'm sorry it didn't work out the way you had hoped, G. Stinks that he wasn't honest on the very front end so you could have said no thanks in the beginning. I hate that for you.
On the other hand, girl, I'm SO jealous of your life right now! Jets game, tailgating, Christmas parties, shopping with friends, drinks with friends, the freaking Plaza hotel and parade....WHAT????? That is literally my dream life! I know it isn't any consolation at all.
Hang in there, G. You are awesome!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
I just like to go out with someone once a week for dates that last 5 to 7 hours. I'm happy to do it for as long as its fun and I prefer to do that with one person at a time. I'm willing to and do text in between dates. But after about 4 or 5 months of that, women ask where its going and there's a disconnect between my long-term plans and theirs.
Spiral
yup. makes sense to me! personally I seem to have become quite adept at "safe dating" but I don't even bother doing that anymore. Way more effort than I can muster. Plus for me that usually includes live music and there's nothing I really want to see right now touring in my area.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
